|
|
THE OC REPORT Episode 2
Ho, Ho, Ho! No I am not talking about Christmas, I am talking about Marissa. What is with this girl? Last season, she is the virgin (Donna Martin) of the OC. She is acting as though she wants to save herself for the first episode or two until our boy Luke closes the deal. This season, the question is not whether Marissa will sleep with someone; the question is whether there a guy on the show that she is not going to sleep with? (Kelly Taylor). She has gone from miss goody, goody, to the slut of the OC in one season. I mean come on; she is sweating some lawn jockey! WEBMASTERS NOTE: WEBMASTERS "REAL" JOB QUALIFIES AS A LAWN JOCKEY. LETS NOT PICK ON THE GUY UNTIL WE GET TO KNOW HIM! IF THAT HAPPENED IN REAL LIFE I WOULD LIVE IN THE OC! Now that is what I call full service staff. As if this girl’s sexual escapades are not bad enough, how about the booze? I mean who spike a latte on the first day of school? (Prediction No 1, Marissa will either try to kill herself again, or she is going to be in a car accident, while drunk and hurt or kill Ryan or Summer.)
My boy Seth needs to drop the comic books faster than Snively drops a pro football team when times get tough. (Brain has been a San Francisco fan during the glory days, a Ravens fan during the Super Bowl run, and I am guessing he is a New England guy, who is ready to run to the Steelers at any Moment. Snively is probably surfing the internet right now for a Big Ben jersey). Also, if I never hear mention of Water Polo again, it will be too soon. Don’t they play football or basketball or baseball at Harbor School? We did not see Luke this episode, we can only hope he did in fact drown at his new school.
Cal. Now Cal is a man’s man. He finds out he is going to get pinched, so he goes on the lamb, right? Wrong, he goes out and knocks down a 5th of Scotch. Does he apologize for his conduct, I don’t think so. Cal knows that it’s a jungle out there, and subscribes to the mantra of Bobby “the Brain” Heenan, “Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat!” When facing the prospects of arrest, is he humbled, hell no. Cal is running around, throwing zingers at Sandy and his wife. Cops come to bust him, does he cry? Nope, he says “Gentlemen, I’ve been expecting to you.” Cal’s got a set of brass one’s. It must be something about the name Cal. (I think Bob will get my back on this one).
Jimmy, as in Jimmy Buffet. Talk about the life. This guy loses Millions, should have been in the slammer, if not for Sandy, makes a killing on this Restaurant, and now lives on a boat, drinks like a fish, and tears up Kristen’s hot, slutty sister Julie. (If Marissa lives past 18, she will be Julie). Of course all things must end as Julie heads to the land of the rising sun to strike it rich. (Prediction No. 2, this girl is stripping for Japanese business men within three episodes)
Well, Week 2 is in the books. I am pleased to report that I managed to stay sober through this episode. Even though I was sober, I still managed to write this article with no real rhyme or reason. |