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Season Two Episode 1

Originally aired 11/4/04

By Matt G.

THE OC REPORT

            It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!  Last Thursday, Christmas returned to the airwaves with the return of D7 favorite the OC.  Our esteemed webmaster and I were shooting the bull one day (shocker) and I mentioned that I had an idea for a feature on our site. Every week, I will be providing you with my thoughts and comments regarding the greatest teen drama show since 90210.  Well before I discuss this first week’s show, I need to make a disclosure.  I had a few beers before I watched the OC last week, so the details of the show are a little sketchy. That being said, here it goes:

Lets start with my favorite characters, the girls!  Marissa and Summer were looking as lovely as ever. Marissa is however living proof that looks aren’t everything.  Lets take a look at some of her personality flaws. Marissa is as crazy as a shit-house rat, drinks like a fish (nothing like a Long Island Iced Tea for an eye-opener), and she practically stalks poor Ryan, who is only trying to do the right thing.  We know that it is not all her fault, it’s not like she comes from good stalk.  Could Marissa’s mother Julie be made to be any more of a gold digger?  I think we get the hint about this woman.  (The writers for this program were about as subtle as a “Bull in a China Shop”).  Let’s not forget that Jimmy is a felon that should be in the slammer were it not for the heroic efforts of Sandy. (Remember the moral of that story: when the going gets tough, hire yourself a good lawyer. I could not agree more).  All of that being said, Marissa is still $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. 

            As for Summer, what really needs to be said?  She’s hot and she’s an idiot.  Did I mention she was hot?  Let me pose a question to all of you, if Dylan from 90210 was on the OC, do you have any doubt that he would have banged Marissa and Summer in the first season, probably at the same time? 

            Luke’s gay dad.  Okay we get it, Luke’s dad has chosen an alternative life style, not that there is anything wrong with that.  Do we really need to hear Luke complaining about the fact that his new school does not have a water polo team?  I mean, come on, I think you’ll survive without water polo tough guy.  By the end of the show, I was wishing that Luke’s new school had a water polo team too, so he would drown.  I know the guy is from Silver Spring, but good god, he is dreadful.  Steve Sanders he is not!

            Ryan.  This kid cannot get a break.  He leaves a life that he couldn’t have dreamed of a year before to do the right thing.  Now, he is out of school, passed on Marissa, working a dead end job, riding around in a hurting Lebarron, to take care of the girl he knocked up.  How does this girl repay him for these sacrifices?  Tells this poor shmuck that she lost the baby, when she didn’t.

            Seth.  Talk about a guy that was eating retard sandwiches.  Let’s see he breaks up with Summer to sail away because his boyfriend Ryan leaves.  I have got to question Seth’s hetero street credentials.  Is there any doubt whose room Seth was staying in while he was staying with Luke’s dad?