Home
Up

Episode 4

12/2/04

By Matt G.

THE OC REPORT 
 

Week 4 was not the most exciting episode, but it is setting up the groundwork for an action packed season!  
 

Love is in the air in the old OC.  Our boys Ryan and Seth are lining up some new tail, even though they both are still pinning over Marissa and Summer.  Ryan and Seth are a little on the sensitive side when it comes to the ladies.  For Ryan, it is probably the fact that everyone woman he ever trusts stabs him in the friggin’ back.  (We all know this does not happen in real life).  Let’s see, his Mom rolls out on him, Marissa screws half the town behind his back, and his Chino girlfriend lies about the baby.  (By the way, when is that tail going to rear its ugly head?)  Seth on the other hand, I think his issues are a little different.  Call me crazy, but I think its time for my girl Summer to get a restraining order, Cohen has stalker written all over him!  I mean Summer is $$$$$$$$$$$, but Seth, if you can’t be with the one you love buddy, love the one your with.  The Same for Ryan, come on men, its time to close these to birds out.  We know that the ladies are taking care of business. 
 

As for the ladies, well we all know their story.  Marissa is simply killing time with our boy Bixler, I mean TJ.  He is nothing more than another notch in Marissa’s belt.  (Not that I would have problem with that).  I must say I was a little surprised to see Marissa sitting at the beach w/o a 5^th of Whiskey.  They love to play up the substance abuse angle with this Vixen, but nothing the last two weeks.  Marissa must have hit the Betty Ford Center like a ton of Bricks. I guarantee she is puking in a toilet after a wicked bad bender within the next couple of weeks!  My girl Summer is also killing time with Water Polo Boy II.  This guy is a total dick bag!  Bixler, What do you think this clowns major in college will be?  Maybe Pre-Med Dick?  Cut the nice guy routine Jagg Off, nobody buying those wolf tickets! 
 

How about Julie Cooper as the CEO of the Newport Group?  Julie, I am sure the ladies love you, you have only set the Women’s’ Lib movement back 20 years.  Brains, zippy; Body, $$$$$$$.  Kirsten keeps soldiering on regardless of the fact that she is totally shit on by this moron and our boy Caleb.  Not only that, Julie rolls up to her friggin’ home with caterers in tow to throw a party at Kirsten’s house.  Sure, I don’t mind just you and thirty other lushes throwing an all nighter at my house.  How about when Julie accuses Kirsten of having a hollow leg?  I think Kirsten should have said no, that’s not me that’s you daughter.  Sandy is one stop from the unemployment line.  I mean the guy has one client and cannot get the facts out of the guy.  Keep  up the bad work Sand Man. 
 

Then our boy Cal.  Why can’t I get a job where someone rolls up and gives me a fat envelope full of cash to keep my mouth shut like the Ho Bag Cal is paying off.  Clearly, Cal through a shot in this C-Dumpster.  According to the previews, the old D7 “Poke and Hope” birth control method wasn’t the best idea for Caleb.   
 

Anyway, that is all I got.  Nothing like a little stream on conscious writing to start your day.  Stay posted for next weeks edition of the Millionaire Teenage Drama.  That is the nice thing about this show, we can all relate to it, because it is so realistic!