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Wake Forest Tailgate Wrap-Up:

            - Lot 1, College Park, MD

Tailgate Quote: 

Chris: How come no one has on their D7 shirt?

Jason:  Mine still has spit on it from the West Virginia Game.

Overall:

Let me just start by saying, if you don’t see your favorite quote at the top, don’t worry, I had so many quotes this week that I had to do multiple ones, so you will see them throughout the recap.  When it comes to recap material, I’ll just say this past Tailgate was a target rich environment!

What can I say about Saturday, I mean I have fun at all the tailgates, but after the Delaware game I just wasn’t really feeling it.  Sure it was fun and what not, but it wasn’t “Oh my God how am I ever going to make it to the next Tailgate” fun.  In fact on the ride home from Delaware I was even beginning to wonder if I was getting too old for all of this.  Well rest assured, I am not.  These past two Tailgates have been AWESOME. 

Of course this tailgate was on a day where Maryland played perhaps their best game since, I don’t know…I may have to go back to the famous J and Mary’s wedding game when we beat Florida State at home.  But games like that, and even the Cal game at my previous tailgate always make you remember things with rose colored glasses.  So who knows how excited I’d be here typing had the score been reversed. 

Because we had a noon start on Saturday, this week we had the return of the Bloody Mary’s and Screwdrivers.  The vodka drinks were actually so prevalent that my refrigerator is currently completely stocked with beer for next week.  I don’t even think I need to buy any more beer.  But I must say, there is nothing more alarming than seeing a previously brand new vodka bottle completely empty by 9:30 am but it did make for some interesting times. 

Of course one thing that still befuddles me about the whole day was where did the time go?  I mean we did play 2 PPK’s, a Coffin Corner and a QB Challenge, but those don’t take that long and we had the football put away pretty early.  Then back at the tables we didn’t play one game of beer pong, or LRC, or even Horse Racing.  And then the most astonishing fact of all, I think we only played 3 flip cups series.  What were we doing all this time?  Of course while recounting the events of the weekend with Chris on my cell coming home today, it occurred to me.  A lot of that time was spent separating Chris and Brain from their fights, plus we could never get equal numbers on each side of the flip cup table, so that probably cost us the other 2 series we usually have.

“HE AIN’T WORTH IT, SETTLE IT ON THE TABLE, HE AIN’T WORTH IT!!!!”

            -Bob (breaking his 13^th straight hockey fight between Chris and Brian)

Tailgate Highlights:

Can you believe I have written this entire recap and still can’t think of a highlight?  Now that isn’t necessarily a reflection on the tailgate, in fact I’d consider it a compliment.  The whole day was great and I’m not going to sit here and single out just one moment.  If I did, this thing probably wouldn’t be ready for the site until next week, and I need to check this off my to do list so that I can work on my pumpkin ideas for Saturday, so no highlight this week, well except for possibly Game Two of Flip Cup.

Tailgate Lowlights:

As great as this day was, there is still a lowlight.  Of course most people didn’t realize it because they were still in bed, but from 6:20 to roughly 7:15 there was one car that got towed who’s alarm was going off for almost an hour.  My God was that annoying.  Here we are trying to drink a nice 40 at 6:30 am and this is what we have to put up with. 

I remember while at Maryland, or perhaps it was even in High School, having a teacher say that Lee Iacocca was a murder.  The reason was because there was a problem with one of his cars and he did a cost analysis and determined that it would be cheaper to pay damages to the families of those who died from this defect than to re-call the cars.  Well where is the cost analysis for the guy who invented car alarms?  I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have been annoyed by someone’s car alarm going off incessantly.  Yet I don’t know anyone who’s car alarm has actually stopped their car from being stolen.  Of course since it is a deterrent you can’t really prove that it hasn’t prevented theft, but I can sure prove it’s annoying as hell.  I say it’s time to make the car alarm obsolete.  There is got to be a tracking device or something that makes theft prevention quieter and more effective.  We’ve put a man on the Moon for God’s sakes people, can’t we do something about this?   

Brian:  (Something incoherent…..something incoherent) Some bets for me (something incoherent)

            -Summary of Brian’s phone call to his dad who was in Vegas

[Editors Note- Is this the first time ever some one has drunk dialed INTO Vegas.  I mean, have you ever been to Sin City, talked with someone on the phone and thought to yourself man that guys F’ed up??]

Live from College Park Downs:

Due to the economic down turn the College Park Downs has been forced to operate on a limited schedule, if all goes well look for the track to open up perhaps as early as this coming Saturday.  

LRC:

See the above section.  Believe it or not for the first time in a long time there was no LRC played as a tailgate.  I don’t foresee that as a trend that will last considering all the degenerate gamblers we have. 

Justin:  “Zero” (announcing Jason’s PPK score as he knocks the ball out of Jason’s hand while he is getting ready to punt).

Punt, Pass, and Kick:

I can’t predict everything, actually I really can’t predict much of anything, but one thing that I do know is that when we have a 6:00 AM tailgate start, there is always plenty of room to play PPK.  So much this time around that we got in two games of PPK, which is good news for Bixler since his chances of adding his name to the trophy are coming to an end.  Of course he need not worry too much about the trophy.  Since his boast that the Trophy would soon permanently be named in his honor, Chris has failed to win.

The first game went to J.  J had a pretty good day at the PPK.  He won the first match with a combined score of 39.  That’s the good news, the bad news is that 39 sets the record for the lowest winning total ever.  Of course it’s kind of hard to give someone crap about that considering we didn’t do much better.   I guess everyone got nice and loose after the first round because when J won it the second time through, he put up a 41.  Bixler’s all time record of 42 parking spaces is safe for now, but in the mean time he is going to have to be satisfied with the quality of his win, not the quantity.

Coffin Corner:

CC is a game that doesn’t get brought out much, but it’s a game that I really enjoy because anyone can win it.  PPK is probably always going to be a battle between Bix and J, with maybe a third party squeaking in when one of them botches their field goal, but the Coffin Corner game is all about finesse.  For those who don’t know, or don’t remember the idea is simple.  You are the punter.  You are at the other teams 40, you can’t kick a field goal, so you have to try to pin the opposing team as deep as you can.  There is a receiver who is instructed to stand at the 10 and fair catch any ball that doesn’t go over his head.  (And coming next CC we will have players who can run and down the ball if it is rolling, thus helping the punter).  Well it gets a little tricky playing on asphalt that is sloping ever so gently down hill, so it’s usually wise to use the sidelines.  The winner this week was Justin with a punt that went out of bounds at about the 6 yard line.  Chris was also close, but I think Justin’s was slightly deeper, if anyone wants to argue, they can go off and form their own D7 Tailgate recap article……that’s what I thought!

John: Where’s Brian?

Chris:  He’s at the car.

John:  Uh no he isn’t!

QB Challenge:

I’ll keep this one short and sweet and announce that I won my first ever QB Challenge.  In fact I didn’t miss a chair the entire game.  Of course we had 6 players and it took us an eternity to have one of the last 4 qualify for the finals.  Then in the finals nobody hit any chairs and all I had to do was throw a 10 yard pass to the 5 point chair to win.  So it wasn’t exactly one of my greatest accomplishments.  It’d kind of be like me going back to Cecil Manor Elementary School as a 32 year old and taking home the blue ribbon at field day.  Sure it’s a blue ribbon, but you can’t really celebrate considering the level of competition. 

“Fur is Murder”- Everyone on my flip cup team in response to the red fur covered pimp hat Chris bought for 8$.

Flip Cup Results:

I love Flip Cup, I love how competitive we get, I love how everyone wants to win and see their stock rise in the recap, I love the rhythmic clapping, and the shouting, but I will be surprised if in the next….I’ll say 5 to 10 years, we don’t have a murder scandal not unlike the Texas Cheerleader murder, you know where the mom had her daughters rival killed.  Of course this won’t involve any parents, but someone is going to have a bad day and get Nancy Kerriganed.  (Has that term been trademarked yet, I should get on that!).  Anyway on to the results.

The First Series:  For the first time ever I actually had team names made up BEFORE the match started.  Team Pimps (named for obvious reasons, though I’ll bold to help jog your memory) consisted of Chris, Dirty, Jason, Deb, Fred, Jen, and Jamie.   Team Ho’s was made up of John, E!, Myself, Brian, Surin, Justin, and Juanita.  The Ho’s took an easy victory in game 1, in fact it was so easy I think I looked over to Surin and he gave me a “I feel bad for being on a team that is this lopsided” look.  Of course that didn’t last.  The Pimps finally got going and took game 2.  The Ho’s eager to prove that was indeed a fluke, took game 3, but they couldn’t hold off the Pimps in games 4 and 5.  Game 6 saw the Ho’s rally to force a game 7, but just like the Red Sox, we were unable to keep the momentum going and as a result we lost an extremely close game 7.  I guess you could say we were bitch slapped (Am I allowed to cuss on the internet?). 

The Second Series: You know, game 1 my notes were actually pretty well written and easy to follow, but game 2 not so much.  It is hard for me to convey how every week I say to myself, I am going to try and take better flip cup notes, but then when it comes to recap time, I end up looking at chicken scratch every time.  The 2^nd series of the day featured the now famous “Fur is Murder” Team which was made up of Jason, Juanita, Surin, Bob, Brian, E!, John, and I think it says Justin.  Team “Drill Baby Drill” was made up of J, Jamie, Fred, Bixler, Dave, Dirty, Jen, Sherry, and Deb.  Those teams don’t match up, I think Deb switched on and off with someone.  Anyway, the DBD’s came out strong rattling off a 2-0 lead, and just as I was ready to rip off the flip cup page and discretely eat it, Lee Corso came out of no where with his Fur is Murder hat yelling “NOT SO FAST MY FRIENDS!!”.  FIM then just took over and won the next 4.  I’m not saying it was ugly, but for the first time ever people asked for a flip cup match to be stricken from the records. 

The Third Series: Once again, I actually had names pre-picked, how about that.  Of course I have no idea why I went with Old School v. New School, but I did.  OS was made up of Bob, E!, Snively, Jen, J, and Dave.  NS was made up of Chris, Sherry, Justin, Jason, Jamie, and Fred.  New School took control early settling in with a nice 2-0 lead, but OS battled back to tie it at 2-2.  However the Newbies then kicked it into over drive and won the last 2.  Doesn’t look like any protests were levied on this one, but I wish there was.  Not a good day for some usually reliable flippers. 

The Donut Series:  To say there is a winner in this monstrosity of a game doesn’t really capture it’s essence.  There are no winners, just people who finish before other people.  Though I tried to fight it, I wasn’t able to and once again the donut game commenced.    

This match up featured the “Cream Filleds” vs. the “Dirty Dozen”.  The CF’s were made up of J, Bob, Brian, and Jen.  The DD’s consisted of Chris, Fred, Sherry, and Surin.  I’ll say right now, if I ever type up the Donut game and Fred’s name isn’t in here, there will be hell to pay!  Anyway, luckily this series is only a one gamer, and even more luckily (cue grammar check) my team won.  Yeah Cream Filleds.  Also I think now is as good a time to bring this up as any, but the idea that the girls can only eat a quarter of a donut in this is a spit in the face of women’s rights.  Susan B Anthony would eat a whole donut just like the men, so don’t dishonor her memory.  FULL DONUTS FOR ALL!!

Flip Cup MVP of the Day was Jason who went 3-0 and didn’t participate in the Donut game, now that IS a perfect day. 

So there you have it.  I can’t remember if I counted the Donut game in the overall standings, but if I didn’t last week, I’m doing it this week (I’m really aching for that 2-2 finish on the day!).   

So I hold on to my lead for another week.  I know it isn’t because of my flip cup skills, so I’m figuring it must be my motivational speaking that is making those around me rise up to the occasion.  And yes I do realize I’m going strictly off of number of wins and not records.  It pays to play!! 

Are You OK?

            -Unidentified College Park Police Officer checking on Brian sitting in the parking lot during the first quarter of the football game.

Weather Report Card:

It’s been a tough few weeks for the weather desk.  Luckily we’ve had some good football games to distract us from the botched forecasts.

The “Save the Terrapin (tailgaters)” Drive:

No games were played this week so you are probably assuming that there was no money raised, well you are wrong.  Bix and I both threw in a fin to make the weeks total $10.  That brings the season total up to $49.50 which is already more than I paid for the pumpkin prizes so that’s good news.    

Tailgate MVP:

I forget what Jen had to do to win MVP, but I think she did it, so I’m giving the Wake MVP Award to Jen.  OK, now I remember I promised her the MVP if we won the Donut Flip Cup game and she delivered.  Thanks Jen, that win kept me in first place, if only for the moment.  Being in first in flip cup in October is kind of like being #1 on the first BCS ranking of the year, it’s just entirely way to early for something mixed up not to happen, so this pretty much guarantee’s I won’t win it in the end.  But thanks Jen, I can use all the help I can get!

Honorable Mention (in no particular order): 

The MVP Runner up is, Team FUR IS MURDER!!!!   Let’s face it, none of us went to Beverly Hills High and participated in the Donna Martin Walk-Out, so this is as close as we are ever going to get to a spontaneous chant.   I also want to point out that once we started chanting is when we rattled off four in a row.  I would like to think that one day, many many years from now when I finally pass from this world a tired and satisfied old man, that when I get to heaven all the Fur is Murder Team will be there to great me and we would all sit around on clouds talking about that magical day when we all came together on that Wake Forest Tailgate and walked the world like Kings.

Isn’t it funny how alcohol makes you remember things, for all I know J and I were the only ones yelling and everyone else on our team probably was giving us dirty looks, but even if that were the case, I’m still going to choose to remember it how I saw it in my head.  Anyway, way to go Jason, Juanita, Surin, Bob, Brian, E!, John, and Justin.  If we are ever all together at a tailgate again, we are getting this squad back together!!

Conclusion

Well wraps up the Wake recap.  What a day.  I’m not sure how I’m going to make it to the next Saturday, this could very well be the longest week of my life.  Anyway, thanks for all who came out, and thanks for those who read the recap.  See you all Saturday for NC State.

So until then, don’t forget:

• Brian + Vodka= A plethora of recap material.
• Fur is indeed murder
• Flip Cup is more competitive than Texas High School Cheerleading, and
• NEXT SATURDAY IS PUMPKIN DAY!!!

It’s great…to hate….